TED英語演講：生活和工作真的可以實現平衡嗎
生活與工作兩不誤纔是完美的人生，那麼生活和工作真的可以實現平衡嗎?Nigel Marsh博士認爲完美的一天建立在與家人相處，個人發展以及工作三者之間的平衡之上，進而他鼓勵人們讓這一理想變爲現實。下面是小編爲大家收集關於TED英語演講：生活和工作真的可以實現平衡嗎?歡迎借鑑參考。
生活和工作真的可以實現平衡嗎?
演講者：Nigel Marsh
What I thought I would do is I would start with a simple request. I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence.
我原本想以一個簡單的請求開場。我請求在座的各位思考片刻，你們這羣可悲的懦夫，捫心自問，審視一下自身可憐的存在。
Now that was the advice that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifth century. It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40. Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior -- I was eating too much, I was drinking too much, I was working too hard and I was neglecting the family. And I decided that I would try and turn my life around.
其實這正是 5世紀時聖本篤給信衆的建議，可以想見，當時他們必定相當驚詫。而在我40歲的時候 我也決定採納並實施這個建議。在那之前，我絕對是個典型的業務精英——我吃的太多，喝得太多，工作太努力，我忽視了自己的家庭。於是我決定試着改變我的生活。
In particular, I decided I would try to address the thorny issue of work-life balance. So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children. But all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work. (Laughter) Not a very useful skill, especially when the money runs out.
而且我決定 我要嘗試處理一個棘手的問題： 即工作與生活的平衡。於是我遞交辭呈，賦閒在家，與妻子和四個兒子相處了一年。但是在那一年中關於工作與生活平衡這個問題，我唯一的收穫是：如果我不工作，這個問題就會迎刃而解。(笑聲) 這的確不怎麼管用，尤其是缺錢的時候。
So I went back to work, and I've spent these seven years since struggling with, studying and writing about work-life balance. And I have four observations I'd like to share with you today. The first is: if society's to make any progress on this issue, we need an honest debate. But the trouble is so many people talk so much rubbish about work-life balance.
所以我回到工作崗位，七年以來我的掙扎，學習與寫作都圍繞着工作與生活的平衡這個主題。今天我想跟各位分享四點心得。第一， 如果在這一問題上想要獲得實質性的進展，那麼我們需要一個誠懇的探討。
All the discussions about flexi-time or dress-down Fridays or paternity leave only serve to mask the core issue, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family.
但問題是在這一問題上，人們大多沉浸在毫無意義的爭論之中。無論是彈性時間還是星期五的休閒裝政策亦或是育兒假，這些都只是進一步掩蓋了核心問題，即某些職業和某些職業選擇從根本上講就與每天與自己的家庭親密相處這一生活方式水火不容。
Now the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in. And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
要解決任何問題，都必須首先認清自己所處的境況。而現實社會中的情況是成千上萬的人們 都在無聲的絕望中煎熬。他們夜以繼日的從事他們痛恨的職業目的只是爲了購買無用的商品以博得無關痛癢的鄰人的豔羨。
It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.
我的觀點是，星期五穿牛仔體恤並不能解決關鍵問題。
The second observation I'd like to make is we need to face the truth that governments and corporations aren't going to solve this issue for us. We should stop looking outside. It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead.
我想分享的第二點心得是我們必須面對現實：政府和公司不會爲我們解決這一問題。我們不能再尋找外援，而應該作爲個人承擔起掌控自己生活軌跡的重任。
If you don't design your life, someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance. It's particularly important -- this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired -- it's particularly important that you never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporation. Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies -- the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them.
如果你不規劃自己的生活，那麼別人就會爲你規劃，而他們對於平衡的處理你往往並不認同。最重要的是——這東西不會傳到互聯網上吧，要不然我可要被解僱了—— 最重要的是你絕不能讓商業公司來掌控你生活的質量。我指的並不僅僅是那些糟糕的公司——我把那些公司叫做人類靈魂的屠宰場。
I'm talking about all companies. Because commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you [as] they can get away with. It's in their nature; it's in their DNA; it's what they do -- even the good, well-intentioned companies. On the one hand, putting childcare facilities in the workplace is wonderful and enlightened.
我指的是所有的公司。因爲商業公司本質上就是爲了儘可能多的榨取你的價值而同時儘量逃避責任。這是深植於商業公司之中的基因。它們以此立足——包括那些好的，有善心的公司。一方面，在工作場所開辦兒童保育中心是個很妙的，具有啓發性的好主意。
On the other hand, it's a nightmare -- it just means you spend more time at the bloody have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries that we want in our life.
另一方面，這同時是個噩夢;因爲這意味着你得在萬惡的辦公室裏耗上更多時間。 我們自己得擔起責任 去設定並強化 我們生活中的各種界限。
The third observation is we have to be careful with the time frame that we choose upon which to judge our balance. Before I went back to work after my year at home, I sat down and I wrote out a detailed, step-by-step description of the ideal balanced day that I aspired to. And it went like this: wake up well rested after a good night's sleep. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have breakfast with my wife and children. Have sex again.
第三點是我們得好好考慮以什麼樣的時間單位來衡量我們試圖實現的平衡。在一年賦閒時 就在我回到工作崗位之前， 我坐下來 細細地 一步一步地勾勒了一幅我向往的完美一天的理想藍圖。具體如下：充足的睡眠之後，精神抖擻的醒來。做愛。遛狗。與妻兒共進早餐。做愛。
Drive the kids to school on the way to the office. Do three hours' work. Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime. Do another three hours' work. Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink. Drive home for dinner with my wife and kids. Meditate for half an hour. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have sex again. Go to bed.
上班的途中送孩子去學校。 工作三小時。午休時和朋友玩玩體育。再工作三小時。下午和老夥計們在酒吧喝兩杯。 回家與妻兒共進晚餐。花半個小時靜修思考。做愛。遛狗。做愛。上牀睡覺。
How often do you think I have that day? (Laughter) We need to be realistic. You can't do itall in one day. We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the "I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left." A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long. There's got to be a middle way.
你覺得我多久能享受如此的一天? (笑聲) 我們當然要實際一些。你不可能在一天內實現這一切。我們得把時間單位拉長來衡量我們期望的平衡，但是這一拉長也不是沒有限度的比如，你最好別說：“我會享受生活的，當我退休了，當子女也都獨立，當妻子已棄我而去，當我的身體大不如前， 當我已沒有朋友，也沒有任何興趣愛好。” 一天太短，退休又太長。肯定會有折中的辦法。
A fourth observation: We need to approach balance in a balanced way. A friend came to see me last year -- and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year and said, "Nigel, I've read your book. And I realize that my life is completely out of balance. It's totally dominated by work. I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day. All of my relationships have failed. There's nothing in my life apart from my work. So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out. So I joined a gym."
第四點心得：要實現平衡，我們得采取“平衡”的辦法。去年我有個朋友來找我—— 她不介意我公開這個故事——去年她來我這兒， 她說：“奈吉爾，我看了你的書。我意識到我的生活完全沒有平衡可言。它完全被無休止的工作佔據。我每天工作10小時，路上就要花2小時。我的人際關係總是失敗。在我生活中除了工作，沒有別的。所以我決定得振作起來改觀我的生活。於是我加入了健身俱樂部。
Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced; it's more fit. (Laughter) Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are other parts to life -- there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side; there's the spiritual side. And to be balanced, I believe we have to attend to all of those areas -- not just do 50 stomach crunches.
我不是要嘲笑她，但是一個“健康”的每天工作10小時的辦公室職員 並不會讓她更“平衡”，而只能更“健康”(笑聲) 健身運動的確是不錯，但生活的含義其實很豐富。知性生活，情感生活，精神生活。如果想達到平衡，我覺得我們得關照以上的各個方面——僅僅50個仰臥起坐是不夠的。
Now that can be daunting. Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit. You want me to go to church and call my mother." And I understand. I truly understand how that can be daunting. But an incident that happened a couple of years ago gave me a new perspective.
這可能看起來相當艱鉅。人們會說：“拜託夥計，我連鍛鍊的時間都沒有，你卻要我去教堂、給老媽打電話。” 我很理解。我真的很理解，對人們來說這的確挺艱鉅。 但兩年前有件小事卻給了我一個嶄新的視角。
My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today, called me up at the office and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" -- Harry -- "up from school." Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening. So I left work an hour early that afternoon and picked Harry up at the school gates. We walked down to the local park, messed around on the swings, played some silly games. I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe, and we shared a pizza for two, then walked down the hill to our home, and I gave him his bath and put him in his Batman pajamas. I then read him a chapter of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach."
我妻子就坐在下面一天她給我的辦公室打電話說 “奈吉爾，你得去學校 接我們的小兒子哈里。” 因爲那天晚上她和其他三個孩子在一起。於是那天下午我提前一小時下班在校門口接到哈里。我們去了公園，在鞦韆上鬧了一陣，做了些傻傻的遊戲。 然後我帶他上了一座小山到了當地的一家咖啡館，我們點了茶和比薩，吃完就下山回家，我給他洗了個澡， 給他穿上蝙蝠俠睡衣。然後我給他讀了一章 Roald Dahl的《詹姆斯與飛天巨桃》。
I then put him to bed, tucked him in, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate," and walked out of his bedroom. As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?" He went, "Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever." I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.
然後我鋪好牀，安頓好他， 吻了他的額頭，說了聲“晚安，夥計。” 然後走出他的臥室。 正當我走到門口的時候， 他叫了聲老爸。“什麼事，夥計?” 他說，“老爸，這是我一生中 最棒的一天，最棒的。” 其實我什麼也沒做。我沒帶他去迪斯尼樂園，也沒給他買遊戲機。
Now my point is the small things matter. Being more balanced doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life. Moreover, I think, it can transform society.
我想說的是，小事並非無關緊要。在生活中實現平衡並不意味着你要大張旗鼓的顛覆你的生活。在適當的地方做些小小的投資，你就能極大地改善你的人際關係 和生活質量。不僅如此，我認爲這還能改變整個社會。
Because if enough people do it, we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like. And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.
因爲，如果很多人都如此生活，那麼我們就可以重新對社會上的所謂“成功”進行定義：成功不再是以死後財產的多少來愚蠢地衡量; 成功應該有一個更具平衡性和思想性的定義，即一個美好的生活的實現。 我認爲這的確是一個值得與衆人分享的點子。
生活和工作真的可以實現平衡嗎觀後感
一、人人都會遇到的問題：負面情緒
以下負面情緒你是否似曾相識：
我都犧牲了這麼多，你們還不理解我!
我累成這樣還在做家務，你們怎麼回報我的?
我下了班就：做飯/收拾房間/帶孩子…………你卻：躺着/看電視/跟朋友出去玩………………
我都這麼努力了，爲什麼總有意外打破我的計劃?
坦率的問一問自己，是不是常常有這種想法呢?這些負面的情緒，會導致我們稍有不順就很容易就會爆發。即使不爆發，我們的心情也會長期陰天。而一個陰天的媽媽，會讓整個家庭都晴轉多雲。想要改變這一點，必須把那個被“犧牲”了的自己找回來——本來，也沒有人要求我們必須犧牲自己。只要媽媽的內心足夠強大，就能保持穩定的心理狀態，變化帶給我們的煩躁感也就自然消除了。一旦情緒的問題解決了，那麼很多問題就不再是問題。
這就是每個人都如此關心工作與生活之間的平衡的理由。抱怨工作與生活之間沒能很好地平衡，這不過是一種自我放縱的行爲。我們生活的終極目標就是爲了自我感覺良好，這種理念對於社會發展毫無意義。它源於對積極心理學的曲解，事實上，積極心理學推崇的是自我發展和自我成長，而不是自我陶醉和自我放縱。
二、你想成爲什麼樣的人?
你如何對以下列出了以下七個方面進行排序?
a)家庭(父母、兒女、兄弟姐妹等)
b)社交(朋友、人脈)
c)精神追求(信仰、人生觀、情感觀)
d)身體狀況(健康、幸福)
e)物質狀況(物質環境、財產)
f)業餘愛好(個人愛好等其他業餘活動)
g)事業追求(短期和長期目標)
針對每個方面，問自己三個問題：在這個方面，我想成爲怎樣的人?我想在這方面擁有多少體驗?在有限的時間、精力和資源下，相對於生活中的其他方面，這個方面對我有多重要?
在考慮這些問題時，要注意下面兩點。首先，每個方面都會面臨獨特的挑戰。因此在梳理問題時，要確保你面對的是一個個可以解決的獨立問題，而不是一個令人望而生畏的巨無霸整體，這一點至關重要。其次，你對這些方面的判斷會改變，而且確實會改變。那麼，如何判斷?我們的方法是：對於當下你志在成爲什麼人，以及你期望未來留下什麼資產，分別做出規劃，用這些規劃來指導自己分配資源。這種願景規劃非常重要，尤其當你在生活中失去平衡或即將犯錯的時候。
三、工作與生活如何兼得看看他們怎麼說?
1、以健康爲代價的堅持，不一定是對的
創新工場創始人、谷歌中國區前總裁李開復患癌後，中國企業家紛紛開始反省自己。多數企業家自省要多跟家人在一起。李開復微博坦言工作與家庭確實是一個魚與熊掌難以得兼的問題，需要相當的承諾和持續的溝通才能很好解決。李開復談起自己以往的工作信念，他在微博中寫到，他以往給自己的負荷一直比較重，堅持每天努力擠出三小時時間工作，還曾天真的和人比賽“誰的睡眠更少”、“誰能在凌晨裏及時回覆郵件”……努力把“拼命”作爲自己的一個標籤。“現在，冷靜下來反思：這種以健康爲代價的堅持，不一定是對的。”
2、用高質量的時間來安排生活
不幸患上乳腺癌的滴滴總裁柳青那瘋狂的奮鬥史，她的工作狂到什麼地步：柳青有三個孩子，週末需要經常開會，孩子週末見不着，她讓孩子轉學到公立學校。滴滴開會開到特別晚，公司內部團隊爲她“貼心”地想到了一個方案：每天晚上柳青9點下班，回家哄娃娃睡覺，十一點後在她樓下開會。爲了她的事業，爲了對了起她柳傳志女兒的身份，柳青可真是拼了，可是拼到最後的結果卻是身體機能的直線下降，以至於患上了乳腺癌。
柳青自己覺得絕對的平衡是很難的，這就是你不可能每時每刻都保持一個平衡。關鍵就是有一個80、20這麼一個說法，比如說跟家人，我是相信用高質量的時間來安排生活，比如說像我要在家陪家人，或者陪小朋友，那我還是會非常投入非常專心的，不會說陪他們玩的時候看手機。我覺得最重要的就是你花的時間，哪怕只有半個小時、一個小時，但大家能感覺這是一種很投入的溝通。所以其實我在家每天的時間並不是很長，但質量比較高。我覺得跟我的孩子們感情非常好，有那種心連心的感覺。跟家人或者是平衡自己的生活，更多的是用心而不是用時間。
3、不做會死的事，一定要做的事就一定要把它幹掉!
新精英職業生涯導師趙昂接受MBA智庫的專訪時對於如何平衡生活與工作時間，昂sir認爲一個階段有一個階段的一個重點，每天也有每天的重點，關鍵在於分清重點。工作和生活要平衡，這個平衡不能隨意。把重要的事情安排出來，這些就是必做的事。不做會死的事，一定要做!一定要做的事就一定要把它幹掉!在每天臨睡前把第二天的重要事情安排好。昂sir舉例說，每天必須要寫作，這是必須要做的事。白天有干擾的事情比較多，那我可能會選擇早上四點多鐘起來寫作，手機也不開機，七點多鐘寫完了，然後開始各種溝通開始一天工作。對於年輕人最重要的是思考先考慮能力再考慮價值最後纔是平衡。這是昂sir給30幾歲有一定工作經驗、剛成家立業、面臨房子孩子等壓力人羣的建議。
總之，要真正成功平衡工作與生活，惟一的方法就是：遵從內心的喜好，找到自己的使命，學着去欣然接受工作與生活之間的不平衡。